dkrc Chapter 16 Visitors from Heaven
Chapter 16 Visitors from Heaven
Lin Chen was awakened by a burst of golden light.
When he sprang from his cot, his brain was still in a semi-shutdown state. The office lights were off, his phone screen showed 3:17 a.m., and outside the window, there was only moonlight and the chirping of insects. But that golden light hung above the coffee table, oval-shaped, like an unwanted little sun, illuminating the entire room as if it were daytime.
Lin Chen squinted for three seconds to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
"Um... I'm sorry," a thin voice came from within the golden light, "I arrived in a hurry and didn't control the light properly."
The golden light quickly faded, revealing a wrinkled old face. He had white beard and hair, wore a drab, earthy-yellow jacket, and topped a black gauze hat resembling that of a minor official, but the brim was rolled up, making it look like a three-hundred-year-old antique. The old man leaned on a rattan cane, his whole body trembling slightly, whether from nervousness or the cold, it was unclear.
Lin Chen leaned back on the cot, rubbing his eyes. "Who are you?"
"I am the local earth god of Huaguo Mountain." The old man bowed with his hands clasped in a standard gesture. "I apologize for my intrusion in visiting so late at night. But I really... I really have no other choice."
Lin Chen glanced at the clock in the corner. 3:19 AM. For a deity to come looking for him in this way, it certainly wasn't to collect protection money. He took a deep breath, pulled out his thermos from the bedside table, and gulped down some cold tea before his mind truly cleared.
"Alright, so you're the Earth God, right?" Lin Chen patted the chair next to him. "Sit down and tell me slowly."
The Earth God sat down cautiously, barely touching the ground with his bottom, as if ready to run away at any moment. He rubbed his dry, thin hands, his old face scrunched up, and stammered for a while before finally speaking: "Young Master Lin, the Heavenly Court... the Heavenly Court has sent this old man to investigate something."
Lin Chen raised an eyebrow: "Investigate what?"
"Investigate the matter of the Great Sage Equaling Heaven resigning and descending to the mortal realm." The Earth God's voice grew softer, as if afraid of being overheard. "In Buddhism, he holds the title of Victorious Fighting Buddha, and in Heaven, he also holds the title of Great Sage Equaling Heaven. Although he often skips work, sleeps at work, and yawns during meetings, it is still a formal position. His sudden departure to work for you has made Heaven... restless."
Lin Chen chuckled: "So you were sent to investigate?"
"I am the local earth god of this area," the earth god said with a bitter face. "The Heavenly Court thinks it's easier to get things done since we're close by. His Majesty the Jade Emperor personally issued an order for me to write a 'Research Report on the Work Situation of the Great Sage Equaling Heaven Descending to Earth,' including but not limited to the nature of the work, salary and benefits, psychological assessment, and whether there are any signs of coercion by mortals. It must be submitted within three days."
Lin Chen placed the thermos on the table, a half-smile on his face: "So, how do you plan to write it?"
The Earth God was silent for three seconds, then slumped into the chair as if his bones had been removed, letting out a truly miserable sigh: "Young Master Lin, I've lived for three thousand years, and this is the first time I've felt like I'm doomed."
Lin Chen didn't speak, waiting for him to continue.
"Think about it," the Earth God said, gesturing as he spoke, "I mean, the Great Sage's temper. If I dared to write anything bad about him, he could tear down my Earth God temple with a single blow. But if I don't write anything, I won't be able to explain myself to the Heavenly Court. If the Jade Emperor blames me, I'll lose my title. It's a dead end for both sides. My old bones can't take this kind of trouble."
After saying that, he pulled a thick booklet from his sleeve. On the cover, several large characters were written in a crooked hand: "Preliminary Observation Report on the Working Status of the Great Sage Equaling Heaven in the Mortal Realm." Lin Chen took it and flipped through it, only to find that this was not a research report at all, but clearly a "Monthly Observation Diary of Sun Wukong's Flower Fruit Mountain Tourist Resort." It recorded in detail what time Sun Wukong got up every day, what time he patrolled, how many bananas he gave to the monkeys, and even a few pages with a diagram analyzing the condition of Sun Wukong's fur. Next to it was a note: "The Great Sage looks quite well lately. It seems that the mortals' food is not bad."
Lin Chen couldn't help but laugh: "Your report is quite detailed."
"That's all the old man can do," the Earth God sighed. "I've worked in Heaven for a thousand years, and my specialty is writing reports. I can do everything from spreadsheets and statistics to research and analysis and trend predictions with ease. But what's the use of all that? Heaven is such a lousy place; no matter how many reports I write, I won't get promoted or receive a raise."
Lin Chen astutely picked up on the key phrase: "salary reduction?"
The Earth God's eyes lit up instantly, as if he had found a kindred spirit. He leaned forward and lowered his voice, "Young Master Lin, you have no idea. The Heavenly Court has been getting worse year by year. They talk about some kind of restructuring and fiscal reform, but the result is that the gods' salaries are cut again and again. I've been the Earth God for a thousand years, and my retirement pension still hasn't come. The Heavenly Court says I have to wait until I'm eligible to receive it after 1,500 years. I've calculated that I still have to endure another 500 years."
He became more and more agitated as he spoke, pounding his cane on the floor: "Five hundred years! I'm already this old, if I really make it to that day, my bones will be strong enough to be used as drums. And even if I do make it, with the Heavenly Court's current financial situation, it's questionable whether they can even pay out. I heard from the local earth god in the next city that the old man who retired last year has only received six months' salary so far, and the rest is all IOUs."
"IOU?" Lin Chen raised an eyebrow.
"That's right, it's an IOU issued by the Heavenly Court, it says 'Heavenly Number One Deferred Salary Payment Certificate' and is stamped with the Imperial Seal." The Earth God looked utterly hopeless. "There are more IOUs circulating in the Three Realms now than real gold and silver. Just half a month ago, Venus was still holding a meeting proposing that we use IOUs as salaries, and he was scolded to death by all the civil and military officials."
Lin Chen picked up his thermos and took a sip of tea. Looking at the Earth God's worried face, a thought suddenly popped into his head. He glanced discreetly at the office; this makeshift container office, though small, was clean and tidy. Outside the window was the entire Flower and Fruit Mountain at night, with the occasional cry of a monkey drifting in.
"Lord Earth," Lin Chen put down his cup, "you said you were really good at writing reports?"
The Earth God was taken aback for a moment, then puffed out his chest: "Of course. I've drafted over 300 of the assessment reports for the 999 departments of Heaven. I've helped balance the accounts of the Jade Emperor's private treasury seven times. I've drafted the guest list for the Queen Mother's Peach Banquet for five consecutive years. I'm not bragging, but in all of Heaven, when it comes to writing reports, if I say I'm second, no one dares to say they're first."
"Can you fill out the form using your phone?"
The Earth God's smile froze on his face: "A...phone?"
Lin Chen picked up his phone from the table, opened the company's internal attendance and feedback system, and handed it to the local deity: "Our company's employees have to check in every day through this software, fill out work logs and visitor feedback forms. The system automatically generates daily and weekly reports. If you don't know how to fill out forms on your phone, this work will be quite difficult."
The Earth God stared at the phone screen for a long time, his eyes filled with confusion and fear. He coughed lightly and whispered, "This old man...this old man can't even type."
Lin Chen smiled and said nothing more. He put his phone back on the table and looked at the white-bearded old man in front of him again. The Earth God was wearing a faded, earthy-yellow cloth jacket with a thumb-sized hole in the shoulder, revealing the white lining underneath. The brim of his black gauze hat was badly rolled up, and half of the bead on the top of the hat was chipped off, leaving only half hanging crookedly, looking like it might fall off at any moment.
For a dignified local deity to have fallen to such a state is truly pitiful.
"Lord Earth God," Lin Chen suddenly spoke, "you just said that the Heavenly Court wants you to submit a report within three days?"
The Earth God nodded, his expression tragic: "If it's not handed over before midnight the day after tomorrow, the Jade Emperor will hold me accountable. I'm afraid this old man will be banished to the desolate mountains to become a mountain god."
"Would you be willing to work somewhere else?"
The Earth God was taken aback, looked up at Lin Chen, and the light in his eyes flashed briefly before dimming again: "Young Master Lin, do you mean..."
Lin Chen opened the drawer, pulled out a brand-new job application form, placed it on the table, and gently pushed the edge of the paper forward with his hand: "Our scenic area is currently expanding. The logistics support department is short of a cleaning team leader. The main duties include patrolling the scenic area's environmental sanitation, daily cleaning of the visitor service center, and explaining historical anecdotes. The company provides accommodation and three meals a day, along with full social insurance and housing fund benefits. As for salary, the base salary during the one-month probation period is 8,000 yuan, and after becoming a full-time employee, it will be 12,000 yuan plus performance bonuses, paid monthly, with no arrears or IOUs."
He paused after speaking, then added, "Of course, if you do well, there will be year-end bonuses and stock options."
The Earth God's mouth opened and closed, then opened again. He stared at the job application form on the table, his gaze as complex as if he were looking at a mountain of gold.
"Mr. Lin..." The Earth God's voice trembled slightly, "Are you serious?"
"I never joke around." Lin Chen picked up a pen, filled in "Huaguoshan Tourist Resort - Logistics Support Department" at the top of the form, and then pushed it to the local deity. "Think about it. But let me make this clear: after you join, you must abide by company regulations, fill out a visitor feedback form every day, and undergo performance evaluations. If you do well, the resort will reward you handsomely. If you don't, your performance bonus will be deducted accordingly."
The Earth God took the form, his hands trembling violently. He held it up to his eyes, staring at the dense grid on the panel for a long time, as if afraid it would disappear in the blink of an eye.
"But... what about the Heavenly Court..."
"You can report what happened to me today truthfully," Lin Chen said, leaning back in his chair with a relaxed tone. "Just write: The Monkey King descended to earth because the Heavenly Court cut his salary, and he couldn't find a way to make a living, so he switched jobs. If the Heavenly Court wants him to go back, they should first pay him the back wages and then restore the monkey troop's food supply. Once you've written it, submit the report, and then you can resign."
The Earth God's eyes widened: "This old man... can I resign?"
"Does your Heavenly Court have labor contracts? Non-compete agreements? Social insurance and housing fund?" Lin Chen asked a series of questions. With each shake of the Earth God's head, his expression brightened. After the last question, the Earth God's eyes were practically burning with excitement.
"You have nothing," Lin Chen answered for him, "Then why can't you resign?"
The Earth God remained silent for a long while. He looked down at the job application form in his hand, then looked up at the warm-colored desk lamp in the office, the work plan on the wall, the thermos and charger on the table, and then turned to look out the window. Under the moonlight, Huaguo Mountain could be vaguely seen with a few little monkeys on the branches dozing, and the sound of the waterfall in the distant Water Curtain Cave could be faintly heard.
He suddenly stood up and bowed deeply to Lin Chen.
"Mr. Lin," the Earth God's voice choked with emotion, "this old man... is willing."
Lin Chen stood up, took a black ballpoint pen from the pen holder, and handed it over: "Sign here."
The Earth God took the pen and signed his name on the job application form, three large, crooked characters: "Earth God". After writing it, he thought for a moment and added a line of smaller characters next to it: "Real name: Zhang Earth God, the God of Fortune and Virtue, the Earthly Official of Flower and Fruit Mountain".
Lin Chen glanced at the watch, put it away, and extended his right hand: "Welcome to the Three Realms Cultural Tourism Group."
The Earth God trembled as he reached out and shook hands. The old man's palms were dry and rough, covered in calluses—the result of a thousand years of writing documents. He grinned, revealing a few yellowed teeth, his eyes glistening with tears: "Young Master Lin, this old man will certainly do his best."
"Come to the office at eight o'clock tomorrow morning to report for duty. I'll have HR process your onboarding." Lin Chen said, then suddenly remembered something, "Oh right, the first day is for getting familiar with the environment; you don't need to fill out the tourist feedback form. You'll learn after that."
The Earth God nodded repeatedly, bowed again as he retreated to the doorway, and then transformed into a golden light and disappeared into the night.
Lin Chen watched him leave, closed the door, and lay back down on his cot. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, then took out his phone and sent a message to Sun Wukong: "Great Sage, a new colleague is joining tomorrow. His surname is Zhang, and he's a local from Flower Fruit Mountain. Could you keep an eye on him and make sure the monkeys don't bully him?"
Less than thirty seconds after the message was sent, Sun Wukong replied with a voice message. Lin Chen opened it, and the Great Sage's lazy voice came through: "From Flower Fruit Mountain? Who is that? How come I, Old Sun, have no idea there's such a person?"
Lin Chen typed back: "Earth God".
Sun Wukong was silent for three seconds, then replied: "The work back home? He came here to do it?"
"Okay, I'll be a cleaner."
Sun Wukong remained silent for an even longer time this time, finally sending an emoji: a monkey giving a thumbs-up with the words "Boss is awesome" written below.
Lin Chen laughed out loud.
He turned off his phone, rolled over, and closed his eyes. But his mind was still racing. The Earth God's appointment meant that the Heavenly Court would soon know that Flower Fruit Mountain was poaching the gods' talents. Although the Earth God was just a minor official, once word got out, wouldn't the other gods also get restless?
Especially those older folks who also can't receive pensions and have had their salaries and benefits cut.
Lin Chen sat up, opened his phone's notes app, and created a new title:
"The Celestial Court's Talent Pool for Job Hopping: First Phase Key Focus List"
He looked at the blinking cursor on the screen, a slight smile playing on his lips.
This business deal is too big.